MY BIG SHORTS

“My shorts are too big!” I cried in horror at the sight, holding them up to my scrawny, twelve year old body as I stared at myself in the mirror, cringing at the sight.  How can this be? You see, these weren’t just any shorts, these were my gym shorts assigned for me to wear in Coach Largent’s 7th and 8th grade Athletics class.  The Athletics class was not your typical gym class, it was for the true athletes of the school, the jocks. You had to take it seriously or you were kicked out of the program and there goes your chance of playing on the sports teams.  I wanted to play on the basketball team so badly, I needed to succeed in this class.  But what made this such a frightening and challenging experience was having to deal with the leader of the program, the man who would ultimately decide my fate, the most intimidating man I ever met in my twelve years of existence, Coach Largent.  He was five feet tall, had a short bushy mustache, yelling was his first language and he made you do push-ups if you just looked at him wrong. This was no gym class for pansies, no this was military boot camp and only the toughest survived. Democracy didn’t exist, we were his subjects and this was his dictatorship, he was like a Hitler in jogging pants! Now the shorts I had ordered came in and they were too big. I had to wear them by Monday’s class and we were all forewarned what would happen if we didn’t show up with our gym clothes on. It wasn’t going to look good for that student. They would get yelled at and humiliated in front of the whole class, perhaps even kicked out of the program altogether. What was I to do? My mind was racing about all the crazy things that could happen. I mean this was no ordinary Coach, I heard the rumors that on weekends on a full moon, he would turn into a savage man and run through the woods naked, eating nuts and berries, singing John Denver music to the trees! I mean who sings John Denver music? It was horrifying and then there was the rumor he liked to torture animals by juggling cats! Oh what a horror! What was I to do? Well thankfully I was raised in a Christian home with Godly parents who could see that their son was having some serious Coach phobias. So they sat me down and shared with me the Bible story of David and Goliath. They lovingly told me how the young shepherd boy with just a sling and a stone struck down the mighty giant Goliath. They reminded me that just like David trusted in God to face his giant, I needed to trust God now, give him my fears and face my giant, Coach Largent. Monday morning came and I remember walking up to the school from the car line. The sunshine was on my shoulders but I wasn’t happy. Yet I knew I had to do what I had to do. I had to face my giant. God was with me I told myself over and over again under my breath. The early bell rang and classes began. My Athletics class was the first class of the day. Everyone was lined up in military formation all dressed in proper attire but me.  I cleared my throat and made my move, holding the shorts in my hand, I approached my five foot tall giant of a coach and said with a firm but screechy voice, “Coach Largent, my shorts are too big!”. And with that I closed my eyes and held out my shorts, awaiting my dreaded fate. Coach Largent chuckled and said these words that were sweet music to my ears, “Son, let’s get you a smaller pair.”  What? That was it? “Let’s get you a smaller pair.”?  I couldn’t believe it? What was I so panicked about? He then took out a box and pulled out another pair of shorts and we exchanged one size for another.  I often look back on that time of my life, to remind myself that sometimes in life we make mountains out of molehills. We let fear create strongholds in our minds that it cripples us and prevents us from living out God’s destiny for our lives. As I have gotten older my “Coach Largents” have evolved over the years but my God has always remained the same. I don’t know what challenges you are facing that seem so impossible to overcome but remember, the same God that delivered the Israelites through a small shepherd boy, is the same God that wants to use little you and me to defeat the giants in our lives. Do you find yourself struggling with fear? Just exchange your worries for His strength and remember nothing is too big for God, not even a pair of big shorts.

1 Samuel 17:50
“So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.”

Isaiah 41:10
“Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”

2 thoughts on “MY BIG SHORTS

  1. Shipra says:

    ??? hilarious AND profound. This one is my new favorite. Well done, Tom!

  2. Tim says:

    I can totally relate to this. I experienced this in Basic Training. I didn’t have something memorized and a member of my cadre told me he was going to test me tomorrow in front of everybody and that I better not make a mistake. Goodness I studied so much I don’t think I got much sleep That night. The next day when we were called out of our tents, guess what my cadre did. Nothing. They had completely forgot and never even called on me. I had such anxiety and fear for absolutely no reason. I think I’ve grown a bit since this experience, but every so often I still lose sight of how big my God is and let my fear grow. Your story is a great reminder to keep God in focus. Thanks Tom.

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