I read once that your life is made up of a sum of your choices. Looking back on my life, I find this to be so true. Especially when it comes to my career path and the relationships I have had with other women. In my journey in life, I have come across many a fork in the road where I was forced to make a decision. I would like to say that every choice I made was the right one. Sometimes the path I would take would lead me to green pastures and satisfaction but often the paths I took led to hardships, loneliness, and a broken heart. Then out of that broken heart, I would find another path to take and that would lead me to rejection. Then from rejection I would take another path and that would lead me to a place called addiction. Then from addiction that path would lead me to a place called shame and guilt. Then from shame and guilt that would lead me to a place called desperation and from desperation to hopelessness and eventually I would settle in a place of broken, messed up relationships and unfulfilled dreams. How about you? Do you find yourself lost, meandering in the woods, taking any path you find that comes your way? Are your choices made out of impulses and emotions? I think if you’re anything like me you can relate to this. So, why do we do the things we do? How can we stop the cycle of repeating the same toxic relational choices, career decisions or self sabotaging habits we form that make us live in our world of regrets?  I believe in order to truly find a way out of our woods, we should all start to take an inventory of our lives and ask ourselves the question, is the reason I want to be with this person, based out of fear or faith? You see whatever the choices we make, we either make them out of those two things, fear or faith. Fear says I’m lonely and afraid that I’m getting older and no one is going to want to marry me, therefore I’m going to settle with this person who loves me even though I’m not madly in love with this person. Fear says, it’s too risky for me to go for my dreams, get your head out of the clouds, get some stability in your life and stay in this job that’s safe and secure. So what do we do? We spend years of our lives, counting beans in a corner, unsatisfied, when deep down there’s this burning desire to be writing the next great novel which will inspire millions around the globe. Faith says, I’m not going to settle and rush into this relationship because I don’t need anyone to complete me. I’m content in my singleness, I’m loved by God and He completes me. Faith says I’m not going to just take the easy paths, I’m going to choose the road less traveled. I’m going challenge myself and not run from obstacles but see them as the bridge to opportunity that will eventually lead me to my God given destiny. Faith says that all things are possible with God, so I don’t have to settle for mediocrity, I don’t have to accept an outcome of defeat but one of victory. Remember, scripture says “Perfect love casts out all fear.” That perfect love is only found in the one who gave it up for us all on the cross and who rose again defeating the grave. For Jesus to live in our lives and drive out fear it’s got to come from faith and trusting Him to achieve this. It is not up to us to muster up the strength. We must give up trying and give up leading our lives. The scripture says, “that those who are led by the Spirit are sons of God”. This verse is not saying that a genuine believer is always led by the Spirit because we know that even genuine believers can at times make choices being led by something else. Scripture is full of examples of men of faith like Abraham for example, who was led at times by fear. His impulses led him at times to deceive others about his relationship with his wife Sarah and also his fears led him to have intimate relations with his mistress Hagar to try and bring about God’s promise of a child. He tried to do it in his way and as a result, God couldn’t bless his works. But whenever He let faith be the starting point, God always blessed him. Many times we too fail to trust and let faith lead us, but don’t beat yourself up, you are in good company. Just read Hebrews 11 and just about all those listed in the “hall of fame” of faith, were people like you and me who were not perfect at all. However, as a child of God there is grace and He will enable us to achieve His dream for our lives. All we have to do is give up trying in our own strength and let Him lead our lives through His Holy Spirit. All we have to do is spend time with Him in prayer and worship so that He fills our love tank, and we won’t have to fill it with something secondary. So the next time we are faced with a major decision in life, let’s tell fear to go back to where it belongs, in the grave, where Jesus left it. Wait for His leading and then move. When you follow Jesus, His path will always lead us to a place of empowerment.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Romans 8:14
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.